Stitch and Pull
by spanningcontinents
Summary: April and Jackson during the first 24 hours of their daughters life and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

**Stitch and Pull**

After Samuel was born it seemed like time was conspiring against them. The precious seconds ran into minutes, which galloped into hours. The looming deadline of handing the body of their beloved son to a stranger to be taken to the morgue overshadowed the only time they would ever spend with him. Cuddling him, drinking his features in, kissing him and watching the NILMDTS photographer gently capture their son on film seemed to last only fleeting seconds. Meanwhile, both of them could feel their hearts shatter and their souls stretch, silently knowing that things could never and would never be the same. This time it's different.

Their daughter has been alive for four hours, has already braved a Pacific North-West storm, has been rushed through the halls of GSMH at break-neck speed and been cooed over by countless nurses and doctors in the NICU as Alex checks and re-checks her vitals. What she hasn't done however, is been introduced to her mother. Jackson has given up on pacing the halls outside the ER, trying to crane a look in whenever the door happens to sweep open. Instead he heads up to the NICU, eager to be distracted by his miraculously _alive_ daughter. He sits beside her warming cot, cradling her ever so gently after working up the nerve to pick her up. He weeps silent tears of joy and sadness, regret and cautious hope as he counts her fingers and gazes at the nose she shares with her big brother. She may have his skin tone and hair but he can already tell that she has her mother's stubbornness and fire, demonstrated by her dramatic entrance into the world. After an hour silently spent re-assuring himself that his baby girl is indeed alive and very much real he enlists Alex's permission and takes their daughter to the place where her mother would be if their roles were reversed. He rocks the warm bundle in his arms as he perches on a pew and pleads with some sort of higher being to save his best friend, the mother of his children, the only woman he has ever wanted to have a family with, the person that he loved so much he had to divorce, the only other one to understand exactly how he has been fractured, broken and pulled messily back together over the years.

It's been seven hours since Ben lifted the scalpel when Arizona comes out to talk to him, taking of her scrub cap and rubbing her eyes. She knows what he wants to (and needs to hear) and launches straight into discussing what went on in the OR after announcing that April was _very_ much alive. He directs question after question at her, did April need a hysterectomy? (thank god she didn't) How much blood had she lost? Were her bladder and kidneys damaged? Was there extensive nerve damage? After half an hour he can't come up with any more questions and simply sinks onto the trolley outside the room where he profusely thanks Warren, crying once again in gratitude.

She's nearly eight hours old when she gets to meet her mama for the first time. April is currently being held together by dozens of sutures, a whole lot of very strong painkillers and the second of several blood transfusions. Despite her obvious pain and grogginess Jackson can hear her loudly demand that she wants to " _See my baby right now, damn it! Or so help me I will claw my out of this bed."_ He retrieves their rainbow from Bailey's arms and stands at the door to April's room, feeling completely overcome with emotion. She's semi-propped up in the bed, surrounded by a number of IV's and bright monitors. He hates seeing this strong, kick-ass woman lying there with the life drained out of her already pale skin and a bruise on her temple from where she reared her head on Meredith's table when the pain became too much to bear.

Her voice is barely above a whisper as she takes the sight of Jackson standing in the doorway and tries to process it, " _Is…..? Do we….?"_

He quickly covers the small distance from doorway to the bed in a couple of long strides. Not trusting himself to be able to form words he silently holds up the blanket burrito that contains their little love in a stance reminiscent of the Lion King. The relief is palpable as she allows herself to release a shuddery breath.

" _A daughter, we have a mini-you Apes. She's perfect, completely and utterly perfect. Ten finger, ten toes, a full head of hair and eyes just like her brother."_

He moves to place the baby beside her mother as April reaches a tentative hand up to stroke the soft, smooth skin on the newborns cheek. The two adults make eye contact, saying enough without saying anything at all.

Their bundle of amazingness is ten hours old, has been fed by her mother and burped by her father when Arizona and Alex come into the room, followed quickly by Owen who is still in his wedding suit. All three take in the sight before them. April has fallen into an uncomfortable sleep but was obviously unwilling to let go of her daughter. Jackson has moved onto the bed, lying behind her and assisting her in cuddling the baby as she sleeps. April slowly wakes up, looking confused at the sudden activity and in pain as she jostles her sutures.

Alex steps forward first, " _I just need to check the little ones vitals. She is mini hospital royalty after all,"_ He finishes with a smirk. Jackson follows the paediatric surgeon over to the corner of the room, unwilling to let his child out of touching distance, even for a moment

Arizona follows, picking up the chart at the end of the bed and pursing her lips at what she reads. She hands it off to Owen behind her before speaking. " _Glad to see you're back in the land of the living Kepner, but you are never allowed to scare me like that again. You just couldn't deal with the fact that I fired you as a patient could you?"_ She's joking but hersmile hides a certain amount of fear that hasn't quite dissipated just yet. She moves to lean over the bed and begins to gently probe her friends abdomen, checking for swelling and signs of internal bleeding.

" _Now,"_ she continues, _"Considering you had a crash C-section on a kitchen table with a decades old scalpel you are doing amazingly, but you are going to be taking it very easy for the next month or so. I'm keeping you in for at least a week and I don't want to hear any complaints, ok? Also, I don't want you to panic at all, but I've called Addison down in LA and she's going to come up in a few days to take a look at you."_

Jackson's head snaps up at that and he rushes back to the bed. April's eyes fill with worry as she begins to process why the top ob-gyn on the west coast would be required.

Arizona places her hand soothingly over Aprils, " _Just as a precaution, I promise. Addison has pioneered a fantastic technique regarding the prevention of uterine scarring and scar tissue. I just want to make sure that Grey's Sloan's best is able to have lots more adorable tiny humans if she desires."_

Both April and Jackson let out a sigh of relief simultaneously as Owen steps forward. He simply comes over and hugs his protégée gently before giving her a paternal kiss on the forehead.

" _Sorry for bailing on the wedding, I guess baby isn't too fond of them",_ she offers, sounding regretful.

He gives her an appraising look, _"Kepner, don't be ridiculous. I missed having my best woman there but you ended up doing something damn more important than holding the rings. I'm just glad that we have a new little soldier to join the ranks."_ He gives her a relieved smile, his crinkling with genuine happiness.

Alex hands the baby to Arizona as his pager goes off and he leaves the room quickly. Arizona gives her a kiss on the forehead and whispers something conspiratory in her ear, the blonde surgeon finally looking peaceful. She goes to give her back to Jackson but is stopped by April's weak motions towards Owen. " _I think it's time that her godfather held her"_ the redhead supplies.

Owen looks surprised but takes the swaddled bundle gratefully, holding her close and looking awed.

" _After all, her godmother just got a cuddle"_ Jackson adds looking at the woman who had helped them both through two extremely tough pregnancies.

" _With plastics and trauma for parents and trauma and paediatrics for god parents, nothing can ever happen to her",_ Owen jokes, rocking her gently.

" _Why do you think we chose you two?"_ April retorts, raising an eyebrow weakly.

They are fifteen hours out and April has been sleeping while numerous visitors pop their heads in to make sure that all is well. Meredith has dropped in some of Ellis' newborn clothes and supplies. Neither April or Jackson had wanted to tempt fate after last time, so they were rather lacking in baby gear. Bailey had also brought Jackson some toiletries and a change of clothes from his locker, with Jo bringing a stuffed bear and a shy smile.

This time however, the knock on the door brings his mother, standing uncharacteristically quiet in the doorway. April is awake, simply staring at her daughter while tears stream down her face. Jackson is rubbing her back, simply letting her grieve their son while relishing their daughter.

" _My baby boy has a baby girl,"_ Catherine announces, with her usual confidence.

April continues to cry, seemingly unable to muster up any reply.

" _Mom, this is not the time, please."_

" _I'm not here to fight honey, I'm really not,"_ The older woman holds up her hands and makes her way over to the bed. She simply stares at her new granddaughter, looking ever so peaceful. " _Now I know that I know that I need to do a hell of a lot of apologising but that is going to wait until April has recovered a bit of strength and can appreciate my grovelling. I let my pride and my obsession with the family name get in the way of a lot of things and for that I am truly sorry. But just know this, I love you two and I love and adore the beautiful grandchildren you have given me. I am thankful that I get to have the three of you here and I am heartbroken that Samuel cannot meet his sister. The rest can wait."_

With that she sweeps out of the room, leaving two shocked adults and a hungry baby behind her.

She's twenty five hours old when Alex demands that they think about naming her because " _Dude, your baby deserves better than being refered to as 'her' or 'baby girl Kepner-Avery". Plus with all these Avery's running around it's getting confusing."_

And so begins the discussion of names. It happens in fits and starts because like so many other things it's a trigger for the grief of their son and both of them desperately want to be calling out his name hundreds of time a day.

After ruling out Jane, Laura, Ruth, Naomi, Jacqueline, Leah, Rebecca, Charlotte and Ava they are at an impass.

They are sitting in their now regular position, with Jackson lying on the bed helping to prop April up as she holds their baby close. Strangely enough neither of them feel awkward about it, the physical and emotional closeness seems natural.

" _May",_ April states with conviction.

"Hmmm?"

" _May, doesn't she look like a May? Its sweet and pretty and it's her birth month. She can be just like me."_

" _May."_ He test the name out, letting it roll of his tongue. _"I love it, she's our come what may baby after all."_

" _Look at our little May-May",_ April coos, delighted that her choice has been approved.

" _Can we use Everret as a middle name? It was Marks and well, without him we wouldn't have her and we wouldn't have had Samuel or any of it really,"_ His voice breaks as he tries to explain just how important it is to him.

" _Of course Jacks,"_ her hand goes to cover his and she gives him a reassuring squeeze. " _I also want to give her a name in honour of Ben though, to thank him for saving us. Maybe Wren? As a shortened form of Warren?"_ She wrinkles her nose, clearly wondering if it will work.

He gently takes the baby off of her and holds the small creature up at their eye level. Their daughter opens her eyes, regarding them both with two deep pools of calm blue.

" _May Everett Wren Kepner-Avery, I hope you have as much love in your life as you do names,"_ he states solemnly.

They have been stretched and pulled and broken beyond belief, but in that sterile hospital room they begin the journey to being stitched and brought back together. The pieces may never fit together as they once did, but slowly they begin to come back, to provide a much longed for sense of peace and love. And most importantly hope, hope that things can be okay again. Hope that they can parent, hope that they may be able to unite their love once more.

 **This is just something quick that I threw together for my favourite two. Please review and comment of you feel like it!**


	2. The Grief Train

**The Grief Train**

 **Just a little note to say that there is extensive talk/mentioning of infant loss and bereavement below, which I know can be extremely upsetting. I have tried to write it as sensitively as possible and I sincerely hope that I have given the topics that I wrote about justice, but I know that that everyone's situation is different. If in doubt it may be best to skip this chapter.**

She'd been lurking around the corner for over fifteen minutes. Feeling like some sort of creepy stalker instead of a kick-ass and respected surgeon she glanced left and right before quickly darting towards the door. Giving a cursory tap she slipped into the darkened room. There were several bouquets of flowers dotted on the available surfaces as well as a hoodie and pillow strewn on the couch that indicated that Jackson had been sleeping there.

The lights were set to low as the redhead dozed fitfully in the bed at the centre of the room. Amelia knew from Owen that April was still in severe pain and had sutures split since the birth, which was now being called 'a wild west' C-section by the impressed staff on the surgery floor. She was pale (even by her standards) and was propped up at an odd angle in order to allow fluid to drain from the incision sites. The small clear box containing the four day old baby was quiet, for now, and was lit up by the Bili Blanket that was being used to treat her mild case of jaundice. Amelia sat tentatively in a chair right beside the bed, trying to sort through all the emotions that had brought her to the room.

Several minutes later April began to move around in her sleep and to mutter unintelligible words. A nightmare, something that Amelia was much too familiar with. She let the other woman sleep until the dream obviously became too much as April cried out and flailed her arms.

" _Easy there Kepner, come on."_ She gently gripped the other surgeons shoulder to keep her still and adjusted the pillows to raise her up into a semi-sitting position.

" _Amelia?"_ April slowly blinked the sleep out of her eyes before looking frantically towards May. " _Is she ok, what's wrong? Is it something nuero related? Oh my gosh, is Jackson all right?"_

" _Breathe Kepner",_ the neuro surgeon leant forwards and grabbed April's hand in a rare moment of physical affection. " _I haven't looked at your baby but Robbins, Karev and Mer all seemed to be pleased with her so I'd say that she's doing just fine neurologically. I met Jackson earlier and he said that he was going out to buy you some more pyjamas and to get some essentials for the baby."_

April stopped shaking and looked embarrassed, _"Sorry, I guess the hormones and everything are setting me on edge."_ She reached up to sweep her hair from her sweaty forehead but let out a jagged gasp as the movement pulled sharply on her wound.

" _Here, let me."_ Amelia moved in on fluid motion, grabbing bobbins and pins off the side table and gently lowering herself onto the bed beside April. She parted the hair and began to deftly form two Dutch braids. _"Now, you're probably wondering why I'm here, talking to you alone?"_

" _Well yeah, kind of"_ April fiddled with her thumbs, feeling like she was five again and about to get a lecture from an adult.

" _I figured that you might want to chat with someone who's also a member of 'the club'. You know, everyone's focusing on the fact that you have a daughter now but no ones probably talking about the fact that she isn't your first child."_

It took April a few moments to reply as she tried to swallow down the lump that was permanently embedded in her throat, " _Thanks, it's been rough. You know the usual, feeling happy but also feeling like you're about to split in two from the weight of missing him. You probably felt the same at the wedding."_ Her voice caught on the last word and April silently pressed her hand to her chest in an attempt to physically stifle the sobs that were threatening to make their way to the surface.

" _Everyone else gives you bullshit platitudes about suffering and love and life lessons but we both know that it just sucks. It sucks that every day we have to see other people with their kids, it sucks that we had to pick out urns and make birth plans that were planning for the day that our child would die. Everyone else is going to coo over your daughter and tell you how lucky you are but you can rant to me. I get it, ok?"_ Amelia finished the braids and returned to the chair, pulling the box of tissues into her lap and gripping it fiercely, not yet allowing herself to cry.

" _Ok….. Thanks Amelia. Oh God, I'm so angry that I could just scream! Samuel's dead and May's here and she's proof that we can have healthy, viable children but for some reason Samuel was created to die. And that makes me furious! And now everyone expects May to just erase it all, but she can't. She's helping me to heal but she can't bring my son back, that not her purpose. I'm selfish I want them both, I want to parent both of my children. I want the impossible and I'm never going to stop wanting it."_ She ranted while rolling her necklace between her thumb and forefinger. It was a flat, silver disk stamped with an _S_ that she never took off, a vital representation of a piece of her soul that was forever lost.

" _The grief train never stops",_ Amelia interjected suddenly. " _I used to think that people would stop dying, that there was a certain amount of bad things that could happen. But that's not true, I saw my father get shot, I found my best friends body, my fiancé died, my son died and then my brother got run over by a semi. It never stops, but people expect you to move on seamlessly from it. You get a few months of grace and then it's back to normal."_

April took a deep and shaky breath before allowing herself to speak, _"I found my best friends body too. I turned a corner and there she was."_ A sudden spasm of sobs overtook the redhead and she gasped as if being held underwater. Amelia silently handed her several tissues while dabbing at her own eyes.

" _I have this re-occurring dream",_ April continued, " _I wake up in our bed and Jackson's beside me, asleep. He has his arm around me, his head is in the crook of my shoulder. There's a crib at the end of the bed and I just know that Samuel's in there and he's safe and he's not in pain. I know that my baby is there, sleeping where I lay him down. That is my one un-feasible, un-attainable dream nowadays, a situation that will never, ever occur. And then, my dream turns. Instead of Jackson beside me, it's Reed. Just like I how I found her, eyes wide open with a hole in the middle of her head and her blood flooding the bed. And then I'm standing in Derek's office again trying to explain that there's a shooter but I can't speak at all. And then I'm standing there looking down into Gary Clarke's gun again but this time he won't let me go because I've actually lived and been loved and he's forcing me to listen to how I'll be leaving the love of my life and my son. And all of a sudden I'm in a room with everybody that's died; Sloan and Lexie, Derek, Reed and Charles and I can hear Samuel screaming in pain but I can't find him. I have that dream nearly every night and I can't make it stop. But I still come to work and act like the chirpy trauma girl because no one wants to hear about how I feel like I'm getting stabbed every time I think about Samuel and how much I regret pushing the one person who did understand away."_

Both women were now crying heavily as May continued to sleep, blissfully unaware of her mother's anguish. Neither spoke as five, then ten minutes passed. The pile of tissues on the bed grew as they both explored a grief long repressed.

" _Feels cathartic in an awful way, doesn't it?"_ Amelia finally spoke as she mopped up the stray tears lingering on her cheek and swatted at her swollen eyes.

" _Yeah, it kind of does,"_ April chuckled darkly, hiccupping while making one final swipe at her nose with a sodden tissue. _"Thank you, I know it's not easy for you to bring it all up to the surface again so I really do appreciate having someone to vent with Amelia. Oh and by the way, I'm glad that you make Owen so happy, he deserves it."_

" _Honestly Kepner, I'm glad that he makes me so happy. Speaking of Owen, he gets off in five so I think I'll go home with my husband."_

Amelia seemed to be retreating back into her tough exterior but before the emotional side could finally disappear April grabbed her hand and gave it a firm squeeze. They shared a look and nodded to each other, both feeling just a little lighter after sharing a portion of their sorrow.


	3. Target Therapy

**Target Therapy**

 **A/N: I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your support and kind words! If anyone wants to see something in particular in this story set please tell me and I'll try to make it happen. I have plenty of ideas but am currently working very long hours so I'm a bit short on time at the moment. So I'm getting little bits and pieces done here and there and trying to be as quick and creative as possible.**

" _Get the unscented 250 pack of wipes, trust me you'll be thanking me later. You'll go through those things like college students go through vodka."_

He jumped a mile and swung his head around to see the offending commenter to his right, " _Jesus Christ Mer! Where did you come from?"_

" _The snack aisle, wholegrain rabbit shaped crackers don't buy themselves unfortunately,"_ She replied, gesturing to her shopping basket hanging off her arm before bumping his left hip in a friendly greeting.

" _I think the more important question is what are you doing here? You haven't left the hospital since May was born so why are you now spending time in a suburban Target?"_ She questioned him while picking up two tubes of nappy cream and eyeing the ingredients before tossing one into her basket.

" _Well April needed some nursing pyjamas and toiletries and we have literally nothing for May except the crib and the clothes you gave us. So here I am, with a list of urgent essentials."_

Meredith glanced at her watch, _"Maggie's picking up the kids today so I have a couple of hours, let's get shopping."_

" _Meredith, you don't have to that. I know for a fact you have better things to be doing, seriously I'll be fine."_ Jackson tried to re-buff her offer valiantly, waving his neatly written list around to prove his point.

" _Jackson, you're not fine. You haven't slept properly in about four days and you look like you're about to start bawling, and you're going to freak everyone out if you do that while picking out a package of breast pads."_ She reached out to pluck the list from his hand and began to scan it. _"Now, for the muslin clothes you're going to want the breathable organic ones because you can use those for burping and also as a light swaddle or as a form of sun shade, follow me."_

After thirty frustrating minutes she finally rounded on Jackson and threw her hands into the air, " _For god's sake! Why do you insist on buying the smallest packet of everything available? You're just creating way more work for yourself and you're going to run out of everything in a few days anyway. You do realise that you're going to need more than five bibs in the next year, don't you?"_

She felt instantly guilty as tears escaped from Jacksons eyes as he silently clutched the pack with a heritage floral pattern on it (something that April was sure to squee over) and she realised that she'd made a grown man cry over a multi-pack of bibs in a Target. This may have been a new low for her.

" _Oh, oh. Em, ok,"_ she rooted in her shoulder bag nervously and produced the keys to her much protested mini-van before pressing them into her friends hands while prying the plastic package out of his grip. _"My car is out and to the left, go sit in it while I go through the check out with what we've got and I'll be out in ten, ok?"_ She knew something was up when he didn't protest and instead silently shuffled off in the direction of the exit.

She laughed mirthlessly under her breath while she waited in line, thinking how if only dark and twisty Meredith who was sleeping with her boss and was barely able to take care of herself could see present day Mer. Here she was, a mother of three, willingly providing advice on the pros and cons of using swaddles versus sleep sacks. Good lord, how the tables had turned.

A short time later they were wandering aimlessly around the park, overpriced coffee in hand. " _So. Spill it. What's up Jackson? I can promise you it's nothing that I haven't heard or dealt with before."_

He ran his hand over his head before speaking, " _You saw Samuel's nursery didn't you?"_

" _Yeah, I think so. Oh I remember now, April dragged me in to ask my opinion on the safest baby monitor. Why?"_

He chuckled at the memory of April stressing over the pros and cons of video vs digital wavelength. " _Well Aprils all thrifty, a by-product of being raised on a farm, so we made a list and went to a few consignment sales and Costco. That room was full of stuff for when he got older. We had clothes for when he was a toddler, we bulk bought baby shampoo and lotion. We were so prepared."_ Jackson sighed heavily before continuing, " _It all got donated afterwards, all we used was a couple of blankets and a stuffed duckling."_ He gripped his coffee harder at the memory of the perfect little oasis that was destroyed.

" _I see,"_ Meredith replied in a small, measured voice. _"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me?"_

" _Pretty much. What' the point of getting 250 wipes if they're just going to sit there and haunt me, haunt us again?"_

They continued wandering aimlessly while Meredith thought about his statement. She began, _"But who's to say that will happen? Look, we both know that the statistic are bull, you go into work one day and end up doing surgery at gun point, I get on a plane and it crashes, you go into an ultrasound and it's the beginning of your world shattering. I'm not going to try and appease you by saying statistically it will be fine, because statistics don't like us too much around here."_ She paused, a pensive look settling onto her features. " _But what I will say is that you have you still have to keep going on, because the benefits of believing that everything is going to be ok do outweigh the risks. Yes, something might happen to May, buts that not a guarantee. Absolutely nothing is guaranteed."_

He let her words sink in as he gazed at the misty horizon, his shoulders hunched against the world. _"I just, I don't know how to do this. I don't want to be so scared but I can't stop it. I barely survived Samuel dying, as a couple it destroyed us. I couldn't survive anything happening to May…. Or April. And it nearly did, they both nearly died."_

She raised her eyebrow imperceptibly at the mention of how much he still adored the redhead but thought better of saying anything about it. Meredith gave her best 'Supportive Listening' nod and motioned for Jackson to continue, knowing that he had more to say.

" _I know how small a coffin can be and I can't face another one that size. When Karev told us May was jaundiced yesterday my mind immediately went into overdrive. I instantly began to try and formulate a plan for her liver failing, thinking of procedures and drugs that could be offered. Then I thought about how long the organ donation wait list is and how April would be too weak to donate, even in a few months, so I would have to be a match. It went from a moderate and treatable neonatal condition to a death sentence in three seconds. I'm a wreck"_

" _Well I can tell you that's very not very worrying at all, seriously"_ She countered with a wry smile on her face. " _That's the reaction you have when you're a worried parent and also happen to be a surgeon. That's the most normal part of this whole conversation."_

" _Thanks, I think. I guess I'm just scared and stressed and nervous. We have this complicated situation that's probably only going to get more complicated with time"_

" _Sometimes you can't think about these things too much. Because if you did you would never put your hand in the body cavity with the bomb in it and then a whole different chain of events would happen. I hate to go all yogi, mediation, wholesome crap on you but sometimes you just have to hope and believe. I hope and believe that my niece will come over for sleepovers in a few years' time while her parents are out on date nights."_

 _Jackson put down his coffee mid sip and stared incredulously at her, "Oh my god are Amelia and Hunt having a kid?! Oh, that's why they got married so quickly!"_ His brow wrinkled, _"Or is it Pierce? I did hear about her and DeLuca, that baby would be so beautiful, wouldn't it?"_

She cut off his rambling by throwing her hand out and scathingly saying, _"No you idiot! Though I wouldn't be surprised if Amelia was to get pregnant, she and Owen do go at it like rabbits."_ She took a second to shake off that visual before continuing, " _I meant May, Jackson, that's who I meant as my niece."_

He looked utterly confused by what she was referring to but Meredith cut him off before he could begin questioning her.

She was almost shy as she explained her logic, " _Well Richard is the closest thing I have and will ever have to a father, not to mention that he's the actual father of my sister and he's married to your mom, so I figure May and Samuel are kind of like my niece and nephew. That's_ _all_ ". She finished her little speech with a shrug.

Jackson put his arm around her and pulled his friend close, _"Thank you Mer, you really don't know how much that means, honestly. I'm really glad you're my kind of sister friend person. But what did you say about 'parents on a date night?"_

The blonde turned around and stared at him dead on, unflinching with her hand on her hip, " _Jackson, people don't go stopping weddings and eloping for the sheer novelty factor of it all. You two had a lot of stuff you couldn't work out but a blind possum could figure out that the two of you adore each other and have amazing chemistry and friendship. I hope and believe that you can work your stuff out, and so do a lot other people on the surgical floor. There may or may not be bets."_ She finished delivering that little gem of information with a carefree grin before she turned around and began walking with longer strides. " _Now, let's get back. I'd say that you're probably getting new-born withdrawals and Kepner is waiting on some pyjamas."_


	4. A Soldier Through and Through

**A Soldier Through and Through**

 **A/N: Yet again, so sorry for the delay! I have loads of ideas (including April's sisters, April and Jackson's living situation and more) but I am short on time and sleep at the moment. I adore all the reviews that everyone has been leaving, they definitely help to motivate me! This is part 1/2 of this particular 'mini-arc'.**

" _Knock knock_!" a cheery, brusque voice called out as the door eased open to allow patent leather Jimmy Choo's, mile long legs, this seasons Chloe pencil skirt and chiffon wrap blouse and a curtain of vivid red hair to enter. Addison Montgomery Forbes was eager and early.

Jackson turned around quickly from the sink where he was washing his hands, surprised at her seven am appearance. His sudden movement combined with the water that danced out from his wet hands caused April to jump in bed and gasp in pain as her IV jiggled within her vein and her dressings chafed against her wound. In turn, this caused May to un-latch as she fed and begin wailing in protest. Basically, it was a zoo in room 707.

Addison took this in her stride as she dropped her very expensive looking bag and briefcase onto the chair as Jackson and April stared at her in their sleep deprived state of surprise and stupor. The senior surgeon quickly took stock of the situation and rolled up her sleeves with efficiency. She moved over to grab several paper towels before shoving them into Jackson's damp hands as he began to regain the use of his tongue.

" _Oh thank you, Doctor Forbes. Eh, sorry we weren't expecting you this early. We're a bit all over the place at the moment."_ He dried off his hands and began attempting to compose himself, while also trying to hep April.

Addison waved him away as she plucked an extra pillow from the bedside locker and came beside an obviously pained April. She then lifted the other woman's shoulders up before placing the pillow under them as an extra support. The older woman then studied May for a few seconds with the eye of someone with an immense amount of experience with infants before picking her up and re-adjusting her in her mother's arms. With her characteristic straight forward attitude Addison then gently manoeuvred the baby towards her mother's chest and assisted May in latching on again. Relative peace reigned again.

Addison picked up the chart at the end of the bed and began flipping through it as she spoke with ease, " _Sorry that I'm here so early but I got in yesterday evening and I couldn't sleep so I figured that you would be awake anyway so I might as well come over and get started. Now Arizona and Bailey filled me in as to why I'm needed over the phone, they said there was an emergency delivery done in less than ideal circumstances but I'm still a little confused. Would both of you be able to give me a bit more background?"_ She quirked an eyebrow up, giving both of the other surgeons a friendly, reassuring 'I've been trained in patientcare _'_ smile.

" _It's really nothing, not a big deal at all,"_ April tried to brush the situation off as she absentmindedly combed her fingers through her daughter's hair.

" _No, it is a very big deal,"_ Jackson interrupted with a pointed tone and a frown creasing his brow. _"Six days ago April went into labour while at Meredith's house. There was a huge storm raging and she and Warren couldn't make it to the hospital and the ambulance service was swamped. Warren checked how dilated she was and found that the baby was breech with a prolapsed cord. He performed a caesarean on Mer's kitchen table using Ellis Grey's old scalpel and tea towels…."_

" _Oh my god!"_ April interjected suddenly. " _The table!"_

Both Addison and Jackson looked questioningly at her and then at each other as though trying to discern whether she had been given too many painkillers. Jackson tentatively gave her a reply, _"Yeah, Meredith's table, what about it?"_

" _I had surgery on it,"_ April retorted with her characteristic incredulous tone and facial expression. _"I need to get Mer a new table, there is no way she and her kids are eating at that thing anymore. I was naked and bleeding on it!"_

All of three of them let that image sink in while twisting their faces into looks of mild horror and disgust. _"Oh god you're right, we can send her a voucher to that upscale place on Elm a 'sorry and thank you gift."_ Jackson decided quickly.

" _I can guarantee that much worse things have occurred in Meredith Greys house over the years."_ Addison piped up drily, clearly remembering all the antics that occurred in the house of ill intern reputeover the years. _"Anyway, you were saying that Bailey's husband cut April open with no anaesthetic and only one surgical tool?"_

" _Yep,"_ April answered, popping her mouth on the end of the word and looking mildly uncomfortable. _"Warren did a classic vertical cut on my lower abdomen, there was no time to make things pretty."_ She smiled wanly at her own attempt at humour before helping May to unlatch and buttoning her pyjama top again. Jackson moved to take the baby and wind her as the new mother gratefully nestled against the pillows.

Addison noticed that the other woman was running the corners of a small baby quilt through her hands, it was a nervous tell of sorts. _"I can't fathom that amount of pain, how long were you awake for?"_ She asked, gently, her eyes soft and her tone caring.

April didn't look at any of them as she replied, instead focusing on the blanket in her hands. _"It was like a burning, searing pain that just spread everywhere. It was the kind of sensation that just eclipses everything and anything else. I think I screamed but I don't really know, it was all white hot for a long time. But hey, having babies always hurts, right?"_ Her attempt at humour was feeble and did nothing to mask her trauma.

Jackson paused with May resting on his shoulder, he cupped her head and briefly closed his eyes before looking straight at April. _"You screamed. Understandably. It stopped when you passed out from the pain and sudden blood loss. I'm not sure how long it took but the silence was just as terrifying. Ben pulled May out from the enlarged cut he made and tied off the cord before he began to pack you. He managed to get her circulation going and to clear her airways as he packed you and put pressure on your abdomen. You had six of Meredith's tea towels in you at one point."_ Their eyes met as each one began to gain an understanding of the trauma the other one had experienced just days previously.

Addison let out a long, low whistle. " _Wow Kepner, that's certainly….. intense. You're a soldier and I take my hat off to you."_

Both Jackson and April looked at her questioningly. _"Have you been talking to Owen?"_ April asked, giving Addison a genuine, warm smile.

" _Hunt? No, I just call it like I see. Now, would you mind me examining you?"_ She deftly moved forward after receiving a nod of consent and began to palpate April's abdomen before examining the wound and incision site.

Another tap on the door caused all three to glance at the door expectantly once again. Bailey strode in purposefully, giving them all a wide smile. _"I should have known you would be early Addison. My god it's good to see you!"_

The two women hugged fiercely and briefly caught up with each other before remembering the reason they were in the room. Bailey quickly glanced at the notes that Addison had taken as the OB began to explain her treatment plan.

" _Now, considering the circumstances surrounding your two traumatic births you are doing very well and you're extremely lucky that you didn't need a hysterectomy. I've formulated a laparoscopic surgical method that enhances uterine healing, reduces the risk of uterine rupture and bleeding. Basically, I can make your womb a safer place for any further pregnancies, reduce your risk of clots and lessen your chances of abnormal menstrual bleeding. You are an ideal candidate and I would recommend that you go forward with the procedure. I can perform it this afternoon under local anaesthesia as its success greatly increases when it is performed closer to the original surgery or trauma. Questions?"_ Finishing her explanation she moved to her briefcase and pulled out a bunch of papers detailing all the finer points of the procedure, a leaflet on possible risk and complications and several medical journals where her treatment had been written about and covered.

Both Jackson and April quickly scanned the material as Bailey and Addison chatted away. April decided within a few minutes and gave her consent for the surgery just as May let out a gurgle from Jacksons arms, demanding that once again, she be the centre of attention.

" _Oh my goodness, I haven't even had a chance to look at the person who caused all the fuss in the first place,"_ Addison cooed as she bent over and scooped up the baby with an expert hand before sitting down next to Jackson. _"She's just darling, what's her full name? I didn't see it on the chart when I was looking at her bilirubin levels."_ She deftly began to examine May while the baby was balanced on her lap.

" _May Everret Wren Kepner-Avery, which is a little bit of mouthful, but it suits her."_ April replied with a grin, clearly pleased at being able to test out that particular new combination that would soon work its way into her regular vocabulary.

Addison's head snapped up, " _For Mark?"_ She asked tentatively.

This time it was Jackson's turn to reply, " _Yeah, for Sloan. He was an incredible mentor and he gave me a talk that's the reason I'm a father to Samuel and May. I'll always owe him a lot."_

" _That's perfect, god his huge ego would have loved having a baby named after him",_ Addison held the baby up in front of her face and gave her a gentle kiss with a smile on her lips.

Bailey piped up, breaking the fragile air, _"Though I would appreciate if you and Grey could stop getting yourselves into situations whereby my husband or I have to save your lives and your repay when you name your babies. Don't get me wrong I like having kids named after us but I also really love nice bottles of wine and gift cards to hotels."_

" _Duly noted Bailey",_ Jackson laughed.

All four adults turned to look at the baby as she gave a soft sigh in Addison's arms and lost the fight to sleep. For a short time everything was quiet and peaceful and everyone was living in the present.


	5. Babies First Surgery

**Baby's First Surgery**

 **A/N: So I've done a bit of basic googling in regards to medical procedures, but I just want to reiterate that I'm no expert, so please just go with it (but feel free to correct me on anything!). As always thank you all so much for reading and allowing me to babble on and on (you should hear how much I can talk in real life….)**

God, epidurals were good. Like really, really good. No pain for the first time in nearly a week good. Scratch that they were great (though the need for a catheter made them slightly less great). April Kepner was feeling more than a bit miffed that she had missed out on the magic of anaesthesia the two times she's given birth when a thought suddenly crossed her mind and she began to chuckle softly while squinting up at the bright ceiling tiles.

" _You ok there Kepner? Did I gave you the giggly stuff by accident or something?"_ Ben joked, giving her a kind grin as he fiddled with her drip and kept an eye on her bp monitor.

" _What's so funny in here?"_ Addison questioned as she entered the OR, a nurse tying her gown as she moved fluidly.

April caught her breath as she answered their quizzical looks. _"I'm a surgeon and I've just realised that this is the first time I've ever had surgery. I'm a surgeon who's never had surgery, it's just ironic is all. I spend my days elbow deep in people's bowels but this is the first time I'm receiving anaesthetic for anything but a filling. I'm also about to have surgery while awake, apparently I like to do everything backwards and sideways."_

" _It's becoming increasingly apparent April that you are a bit of an overachiever,"_ Addison teased as she adjusted the overhead lamps and checked over her tools. _"Oh, Bokee, I was wondering if I would see you here! You look well, with you here it's like I never left!"_ The two woman smiled broadly at each other as the surgical nurse deftly began to sort the area out (but not before giving April a wink as she lay there helplessly).

" _Oh I have definitely felt the time since you've left,"_ Bailey bustled quickly into the room, grabbing a stool and plopping down beside Aprils head, on the opposite side of the table to Addison. " _When you left, infants like Kepner here and Karev up there weren't doing solo surgeries, they're making me feel ancient."_ Bailey punctuated her point by nodding towards April and then gesturing towards the gallery. _"They also had a tendency to screw up epically back then so maybe it's not such a bad thing that we're all a bit older now."_

For the first time since she was wheeled into the room April looked up at the viewing gallery. Exasperation, embarrassment, mild anger and the need to roll her eyes to high heaven flooded her. The area was packed with many surgeons settling themselves in for the 90 minute procedure that was going to be so epically boring. There was going to be no cutting, resecting, draining or transplanting, but yet they came. And not just any old surgeons but all of the ones she worked with, was friendly with, and used to be related to. Richards and Catherine were perched on one end with Maggie beside the former chief, all three having an animated discussion. Owen and Amelia were beside Maggie, hands clasped in Owens lap as they laughed about something. Alex and Arizona sat in the front row, busily discussing a case over lattes, though Alex paused and looked down when he heard his name mentioned and gave Bailey a sarcastic smile.

Arizona looked down and gave her friend a cheery wave and smile, mouthing encouraging words. The door to the gallery opened suddenly and Edwards slunk in and plopped down beside Arizona, looking visibly uncomfortable when she saw April staring them all down.

April, using her most commanding 'I was the chief resident so you had better listen and do what I say right now voice' demanded to know, " _What are you all doing here? Hmmm? This is going to be boring and I know for a fact that every single one of you has much better things to be doing right now."_

A slow beat passed as everyone in the gallery looked at each other and then the intercom was engaged as all the spectators began babbling explanations at once. April heard snippets of peoples hurried answers ranging from " _Pioneering surgery…. Just had to witness the technique"_ and " _Wanted to make sure you were all right, you had us so worried"_ to " _I had nothing better to do honestly and people are screwing in the on-call room_."

April then fixed her tired, but still effective glare on Bailey who shrugged nonchalantly, _"I'm the chief Kepner, I can be anywhere at any time. I have to keep on top of the latest advances."_ She softened her gaze for a moment and patted April's arm gently, _"Besides I thought it would be a good time to give your wound a good irrigation and dressing change, kill two birds with one numb stone."_

April let out a strangled, tired sigh and adjusted her gaze back up to the gallery, " _All right, all of you can stay but I don't want to hear anyone's opinions and remember that you were the ones who wanted to come and see Dr Forbes cut into my uterus with a robotic camera and scrape out scar tissue, so no complaints."_

The assembled surgeons looked slightly shocked at the talking to they had just received but remained silent and wide eyed.

Just as Addison started the procedure and began narrating what she was doing and April closed her eyes and began her calming yoga breaths to door to the gallery creaked open again and everyone up there began shuffling around and murmuring. April's eyes snapped open, because mother's intuition is very real it turns out, thank you very much.

She was met with the sight of Jackson manoeuvring something into the space beside the chair he was occupying in the front row as the others surgeons leaned forward to look at what he had brought in and talked in much lower voices than usual.

Addison continued her work blithely as April spoke up " _Jackson Andrew Avery, please tell me that you have not just done what I think you've done."_

Jackson nervously scratched just below his left ear, a subtle tell that April had picked up on years ago. " _Ehhh, well I might have. But it's no biggie, seriously it's fine",_ he blustered while giving off one his trademark charming smiles.

" _No it is not! First of all, you're breaking like five hundred health and safety rules. Secondly, how did you get her off the maternity floor, because I think the board might need to re-think the child safety protections that are in place. And thirdly, it's just wrong. New born babies are not supposed to be watching surgeries!"_

" _April, honey, I'm going to need you to calm down please."_ Addison soothed as she continued to concentrate on her work while Bailey reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair back behind the red heads ear.

Catherine looked like she was going to jump in to defend her son but Richard placed his arm on hers and gave her a subtle head shake as Arizona shot her a warning glare.

" _Apes,"_ he uttered her old nickname tenderly, seemingly forgetting that others were present and a lot of time had passed since they were on such affectionate and fond terms with each. Seeing the gentleness in his eyes and hearing how softly and kindly he was talking to her took a bit of the wind out of Aprils sails but she still very much wanted to hear him try to explain himself.

" _Number one, I cleared it with everyone on the maternity floor, so it's all good, our potential child abduction rates are extremely low at the hospital, and we had a conference about it once actually. Second of all, I hate to use the 'I'm on the board so I can flout a few rules' but I'm going to use it. She's all the way up here with me and eight other surgeons, so it's perfectly fine. I'm not going to have her observe beside Bailey or anything like that, she's staying up here getting cuddles from me until she can get some cuddles from her mama. Oh, look she's just waking up."_

April's line of sight up to the viewing area was blocked slightly as Addison angled herself to get a better view of what she was doing on the screen. Jackson popped back up from bending over the cot a moment later, his right hand cradled lovingly around their daughters head. He gently flipped the stretching, yawning bundle around and held her up high so April could see her.

" _Dude, you're Lion Kinging your kid,"_ Alex snorted as Catherine began to frantically snap pictures like the slightly obsessed first grandmother that she was.

" _And thirdly I thought it would be kind of cool to be able to tell her that the first ever surgery she got to watch was on her mom, plus I figured having her here might calm you down. If the roles were reversed I think I might like it_." He was standing there looking so earnest as he gently rocked May that April felt the indignation and frustration completely leave her body. When they made eye contact she saw the man who she was married to, the man who would do anything to make her feel better, happier, and more secure. Once upon a time had briefly segued into the present and once again she felt that familiar feeling of complete, mutual trust and understanding flood her body.

" _Fine,"_ she acquiesced after a beat, " _You can stay, but if she starts wailing and I start leaking milk you are to blame, got it? And thank you Jackson, for bringing her."_ She gave him a teary smile, because the damn hormones were making everything way more emotional, or so she rationalised it to herself.

" _Any chance I could get a few minutes cuddling with my goddaughter? I haven't spent nearly enough time with her, I need to tell her the story of her mom, the training exercise and the torrential rain."_ Owen piped up, breaking up the slightly awkward and intense moment. Things got back to normal as the adults played 'Pass the Baby after Washing Our Hands Thoroughly Because Both of Her Parents Like to Cite Bacterial Infection Rates in Neonates Until You Agree to Fully Sterilise Your Hands.'

When everyone was immersed in cooing over the baby or intently watching the surgery Bailey surreptitiously leaned over under the guise of fixing the IV and conspiratorially whispered into April's ear _"Ever think he might have been more than a bit worried about the prospect of you having surgery again? Hmmm? The poor man was a wreck when we were on the phone and when you in with Arizona and I. People don't just stop loving each other overnight, that much I know."_

April looked up at the gallery again as Addison finished up. Within the people gathered there she saw her future, maybe not as she had once imagined and pined for, but still there and still vibrant.

 **A/N: Yet again sorry for the delay with this! Also, I wasn't too sure what Jacksons middle name was so I improvised with a name that I like and sounds rich enough for an Avery. We have one more instalment with Addison before she heads back to LA and after that I have some fun planned with living arrangements and the Kepner sisters visiting.**


	6. (Not So) Push Presents

**(Not So) Push Presents**

It had taken Jackson a while to move through the hallways, it turns out that new born babies born to a board member that is fawned by a majority of the female staff are bound to attract a lot of attention. So, by the time he reached April's room she was settled back in, with Addison running over some post-procedure notes while Arizona and Edwards gather information on how to attempt the surgery in the future. Jackson quietly parked Mae's cot at the end of the bed and slipped into the empty space beside Aprils bed, flashing her a quick smile.

Addison ran a hand through her hair, recently released from her scrub cap, " _So that went wonderfully April. I'm confident that the procedure was and will continue to be a success. As you know, the local anaesthetic will wear off gradually over the next few hours and then your catheter can be removed. I know that you're still in a lot of pain from the previous surgeries but gentle activity and small amounts of movement will help you recover faster. I see no reason for the doctors here not to discharge you both in a few days once Mae's weight has not dropped below the levels we discussed yesterday and once you're vitals have remained steady, no signs of infection have been spotted and your pain level has dropped slightly."_

Stephanie, who was busy scribbling notes looked up and directed a question at the senior physician, " _When you say that the treatment was a success, you mean that there should be no further trouble in becoming pregnant and maintaining a pregnancy?"_ She was so immersed in educating herself that she failed to realise the repercussions of the questions. April shot Arizona a panicked look as Jackson began sending Stephanie his intense 'What The Hell?' facial expression.

" _Exactly, Dr Edwards,"_ Addison replied happily, seemingly not noticing any tension whatsoever. She turned to face April and Jackson again as she continued to talk. " _I am going to caution against getting pregnant for at least a year to eighteen months though, preferably a little longer. You have had two stressful, high risk and traumatic pregnancies reasonably close together so I think it would be best to wait to reduce the risk of uterine rupture or placental abruption."_

" _Actually!"_ Arizona tried to interject with a slightly crazed, polite smile on her face.

Addison, however, was on a roll. " _Also, I think it would be best to disregard the usual six week sexual activity guidelines and stretch them out until ten or twelve weeks. It is always better safe than sorry when it comes to post-operative abdominal surgery care after all!"_ She let out a light laugh, confident that the room full of fellow surgeons would understand. What Dr Forbes missed however, is April turning the colour of a wild poppy and opening her mouth mutely as Jackson cleared his throat and shuffled his feet.

Apparently Stephanie could bear the awkward tension no longer and abruptly shouted out, " _They're divorced!"_ before clapping a hand over her mouth.

Desperately trying to do some damage control, Arizona used her calm voice to direct Stephanie, _"Edwards, will you please go and bring Mason Deveraux in room 404 down to x-ray?"_

" _Of course!"_ The other woman all but scurried out of the room as Addison began to comprehend the level of awkwardness she had caused.

" _I am, emmm, I am so sorry. I just presumed. Which I shouldn't have, at all. But oh my god, I do apologise. Really!"_ Addison verbally stumbled around, desperately trying to mend her faux pas.

" _It's fine really,"_ Jackson tried to reassure her as he rocked back onto his heels. " _We were married, but now we're not. And really, we can't expect you to keep up with all the Seattle gossip, it does come a mile a minute."_ His feeble joke successfully dissipating some of the awkwardness that had mounted in the room.

" _Yet again, I am so sorry for my misstep. But that actually leads me to another…. Issue, if we can call it that."_ She turned to April and gave her a measured smile. " _Who's going to be staying with you or who are you going to stay with April? You can't be released to go home by yourself, you just wouldn't be able for it. There's no driving or lifting heavy objects for six weeks after a C-section and it would be a concern that dizzy spells and fainting can happen after the amount of blood loss and surgery your body has been through. Also, general post-surgical care, let alone infant care really requires at least another person."_

" _I hadn't actually thought of it,"_ The younger woman's eyes began to fill with tears involuntarily as she began to realise the gravity of her situation.

" _Is your mom not coming out to stay for a few weeks? Or one of your delightful sisters?"_ Arizona grimaced at the memory of the trio of Kepner's that had descended unto Seattle and caused chaos a few years earlier.

April jumped to answer extremely quickly, babbling despite her fatigue. _"No, no, nope. None of them can come. It's so busy on the farm, such an important time of the year, you know. Way, way too busy to come out here. So many things to be doing in Ohio. My mom will be so busy…..farming?"_

Everyone stared at her, waiting a beat before they replied. Arizona was the first to offer an alternative suggestion, " _You know that you can always stay with me and Sofia, honey. Or Meredith, I'm sure she wouldn't mind as she has the space and the woman power to help you."_

It was at that point that Jackson stepped forward, placing his hand on his ex-wife's shoulder and looking at her only as he spoke. " _I think you're all overlooking the obvious here, I will come and stay with April. If that's okay with her of course. I don't think either of us are willing to be away from Mae for any length of the time at the moment, so it's a good solution."_

" _You don't mind?"_ She asked, bewildered.

" _Of course not, don't be ridiculous. It's as much for me as it is for you, trust me,"_ He confirmed gently.

Just as Mae began to squirm and rustle, a sign that she would soon demand a feed Addison took her leave. In the flurry of leaving phone numbers, promising updates and shaking hands she bent down to hug April and whispered conspiratorially, " _You don't often get such transparent second chances in life April."_

With that she stood up, smoothed her skirt down and announced, " _Well I have people to say goodbye to and a flight to catch. Take of yourselves!"_ She and Arizona left the room in a flurry of clicking heels and rustling notes.

Fortunately Mae prevented any possible residual awkwardness by letting out an almighty squawk. The next five minutes was taken up with getting April propped up, positioning the feeding pillow, undoing robes, getting Mae latched and settling in for what was sure to be a long cluster feeding. Jackson sank into a chair beside the bed and contemplated the fact that it was extremely hard for the situation to be embarrassing when there was so much accidental flashing going on. It seemed as though the (ex) couple had accepted their odd circumstances and were able to move forward, body fluids and exposed chests galore.

" _You did good in there Apes,"_ He eventually broke the silence with the thought that had been on his mind for a while.

" _Eh, it didn't really require much from me! Thanks though,"_ She let out a small chuckle followed by a tired sigh.

The two lapsed back into a comfortable silence both watching their daughter, that was occasionally broken by a small grunt and wriggle from Mae. Jacksons suddenly umped up, going over to his satchel and rooting around in the front pockets. His hands emerged holding two boxes that were obviously from an upscale jeweller.

" _I nearly forgot, but I emm, I got these for you yesterday."_ He blushed as he proffered them at her.

" _Oh, Jackson, you really didn't have buy me anything. Seriously, there's no need."_ His gesture had flustered her and she didn't know quite what to do with herself.

They were still so in tune with each other that April automatically adjusted her shoulders to the rights as Jackson moved her still numb legs slightly so he could sit on the bed beside her. He held the boxes in his palm, allowing her to open them one handed, as her other arm was being used to support the feeding baby. April jerked the lid open on the smaller box to reveal a silver disk, with an 'M' stamped onto it, an exact match of her Samuel necklace.

She let her hand graze over it, tentatively. " _Oh…._ _It's gorgeous_ , _thank you_."

" _Now you can have Sammy and Mae with you all the time, like the other moms."_

It was this that caused tears to begin trickling out of her eyes and flowing freely down her cheeks. Mae's fluttering, curled hand grazed past her mother's ribcage, bringing April back into the present.

He held out the other box, silently watching her claw at the lid and take in the silver bangle embossed with 'Samuel' in clear, simple script. It was then that sobs came to the surface, guttural and necessary. He knew from experience that all he could do was hand her a tissue and hold her shoulders as he shed some silent tears of his own. After some time they recovered and all that was left from their cry fest was a few residual sighs and shakes from April.

" _Thank you, Jackson. Thank you so much, I really mean it,"_ She whispered, looking up at him earnestly.

" _Think of them as some not so push presents. It's only fair that Mae gets some space on your necklace, but at the same time Samuel needs something of his own. Plus your get that heat and anxiety rash on your neck sometimes and jewellery exacerbates it. I know that you like having something to touch and fiddle with near your hands too,"_ He tried to shrug the gesture off but she wouldn't let him. April reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly for a brief moment.

" _I forget that you know pretty much everything about me."_

" _I think there's a pretty big section of my brain dedicated 'Things I Know About April Kepner'. And I think it goes both ways because you remembered how much I adore cherries and gave me the cobbler off of your tray last night even though the dessert is sometimes the only palatable part of the meal."_

" _I've spent the last while trying to fight it all, but I can't fight years of friendship and companionship anymore. It's all just innate and natural at this point"_ April admitted sheepishly.

" _So have I, and look where it has gotten us. I think it might just be time to embrace it all. The weirdness of the situation, the fact that neither of us has all the answers or the skills, the fact that we are always going to be bound for life in some way or another. Let's just try and embrace this new normal, see where it takes us."_

And that's what they did, cocooned in their room away from the hullabaloo of patients and surgery, April fed their baby and Jackson stroked her tiny foot. Because sometimes embracing a situation is the hardest part of living with it.

 **A/N: So there's been a little spelling change! I know a May and a Mai in real life, so decided to change the spelling to avoid confusing my overworked brain. When I get a spare 30 minutes I plan on going back to change the previous chapters. As always, thank you so much for reading and I love, love, love all of your reviews. There is nothing I like better than being told what people like, what they want and what characters they want to see, so fire at me! I'm planning on Riggs, lies, crazy Kepners, church and other fun and emotional situations over the next few chapters and cannot wait to get them finished and published.**


	7. Mini Machine

**Mini Machine**

 **A/N: Hi all! Apologies for the rather extended break. Final year of college combined with work has left me constantly tired and crawling into be every night. I still have plenty of ideas I want to get out there but it may take a little while. I'm feeling a bit rusty, but hopefully my characters don't convey that too much! Also, needless to say my story does not follow cannon at all.**

She heard a gentle knock on the door, quickly followed by the _swish_ of new air entering the room. Without even thinking she raised her voice to make sure it carried through the bathroom door and declared, " _I told you I didn't need that ridiculous five dollar super fibre smoothie Jackson! I did it all by myself, so there! I've conquered the post-surgery blockage so you owe me bragging rights."_

The door was thin enough that she heard a familiar chuckle that then evolved into a full bellied laugh. " _I didn't need to know that Keps, but thanks for the delightful image. Good for you by the way."_ The familiar voice she had missed over the past few, dramatic, days echoed through to April as she perched, mortified on the edge of the toilet.

" _Oh God, I'm sorry! Umm, I'll be out in a minute or two,"_ she blustered, knowing full well she was bright red and blotchy all over.

" _No hurry, I'll just get to know Mini Machine here, we have a bit of catching up to do."_

Post major surgery life meant that April moved at a glacial pace as she hauled herself into a standing position, fixed the ridiculous excuse for post C-section underwear the hospital provided, readjusted her pyjamas and finally washed her hands. She exited the bathroom by holding onto the door, slightly hunched over as a concession to the burning pain in her abdomen. Riggs was by her side almost immediately, simultaneously holding her up while giving her a gentle hug.

" _You are never to scare me like that again, ok? Or be that dramatic again, trust you to give birth like that Keps,"_ It was clear that his joking tone was a veneer for his alarm. April simply squeezed his arm as he helped her back into bed and fussed over like a mother hen. It was only when he had set her up at the exact angle he though was best for wound healing and asked her if she needed a drink or ice chips three times in a row that he pulled up a chair and sank into it.

" _So, speaking of things we're never allowed to do again,"_ she began, giving him an indulgent, tired smile as she smoothed the sheet over her lap. _"You're never allowed to go on a ridiculous mountain man retreat with no outside communication located in Montana again. Like, ever."_

" _I'm sorry I missed all this, I really am."_ He looked at her earnestly and his voice became gruff with emotion. _"When I heard what happened, I couldn't even believe it…. It's amazing that you both survived this April."_ They both turned to look at Mae, her tiny brow bunched up as slept in her cot at the end of the bed.

" _Yeah, it wouldn't be my preferred method of delivery, but hey, I got a baby that I can raise out of it so it's not all terrible."_ Her voice wobbled and she blinked rapidly, knowing that once she started crying it was nearly impossible to stop.

" _I'd say you got something pretty incredible out of it, most definitely."_ At that moment Mae began to stir slightly, letting out a soft sigh. _"Can I?"_ Riggs asked apprehensively, which was very unlike him.

" _Go for it, but I'm warning you I generally run out of patience after other people have her for about six minutes and then I demand her back."_

He bent over the cot with a look of wonder on his face and gently scooped her up, cradling her to his chest as he tentatively sat down. _"She's pretty amazing, she's tiny and light. With the way she barrelled into the world, I think we have future trauma surgeon on our hands. Wouldn't that be fun, hey?"_ Riggs directed the last part at the baby who was zonked out in his arms as he gently rocked her.

April snorted softly at the cooing tone her daughter had brought out in the oh-so tough Australian. _"Not if Catherine has anything to do with it. She's already planning on shaping Mae into the next director of the foundation and into a second generation reconstructive surgeon."_ With this April rolled her eyes somewhat involuntarily.

" _Yikes, I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of that women, she kind of scares me."_ Nathan pulled a face as he gave Mae his pinkie finger to curl her miniscule hand around.

" _Oh she doesn't scare me anymore. I was raised on a rural farm with three crazy sisters, it takes a lot to get under my skin these days."_

" _Like Jackson",_ he phrased the question innocently enough but had a twinkle in his eye.

" _Not at all,"_ April scoffed. " _Moving in together benefits us all. I get a chance to recover and we get equal time with Mae while she's super tiny. It's a mutually beneficial thing."_

" _Well I can think of another mutually beneficial thing that got you in this situation in the first place…"_ Nathan joked, pretending to cover one of Mae's ears with his larger hand.

This caused Aprils mouth to drop open as she searched in vain for a retort.

Nathan shrugged nonchalantly, _"I'm just speaking the truth here Keps, don't shoot the messenger."_

" _You are incorrigible Nathan Riggs. Absolutely incorrigible."_

They soon lapsed into an easy and comfortable silence as he continued to gently rock the baby and she sat there contemplating her bizarre life. After a few minutes they were interrupted by a tap at the door and Meredith appeared with an iPad in front of her face.

As soon as he saw the blonde, Nathan jumped up and gently passed the still sleeping baby to her mother. He gave April a quick kiss on her head and nodded brusquely to the other surgeon as he swiftly exited the room. Meredith visibly reddened but she continued talking to the screen as if nothing had happened.

" _So then, while we were all at the wedding the ambulance arrived with Kepner, and Bailey and Robbins basically had to re-arrange the majority of her abdomen. But can you believe the no anaesthesia thing? I nearly vomited when I heard and God knows I've been through enough physically painful crap."_ With this Meredith lowered herself onto the side of April's bed, giving the redhead the chance to see Cristina on the other end of the line.

" _I give it up to you Kepner, you are seriously bad ass and a bit terrifying. You almost beat the heart in the box in terms interest. Almost. Congratulations on the spawn by the way, I guess."_ It was good to see that Switzerland hadn't changed Cristina's bluntness.

" _Thanks, she's worth it. Though it really hurts!"_

" _Well duh, you had Bailey's husband slice into your stomach on Mer's kitchen table. I think that may be the weirdest thing that has ever happened there, which is really saying something."_ Cristina's mouth puckered as she recalled all the things that that space had seen over the years.

" _Speaking of weird, what's going on with you and Riggs, Meredith?"_ April asked innocently ash she stroked Mae's head absentmindedly.

Now it was Meredith turn to go red as the normally calm woman became flustered. " _Ummm….."_

 **A/N: So I wrote this in under an hour and it's late, so please forgive any mistakes and typos. I hope you enjoyed it!**


End file.
